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self-mastery journal

people pleasing adventures, part 3: getting friend-zoned in high school.

(for part 2, click here.)

In high school, I was a horny bastard.

Being a people pleaser, my plan was this: If I’m nice towards the girls I find attractive, then they will want to get in my pants.

You know the saying “Nice guys finish last?” It’s true in more than one way… if you know what I mean.

People pleasing allowed me to make friends with a lot of girls. Most of them were a year older. They gushed over me like I was their teddy bear, and I gobbled up the approval. But when it came to expressing my sexual feelings towards any one of them, I failed. Every. Single. Time. Either the words came out the wrong way, or I was too scared to say anything at all.

After they graduated, I lost contact with all eight of them. I was a horn-dog masquerading as a friend, and they saw right through it. Girls have an uncanny ability to sense neediness in guys.

Getting friend zoned is another common side effect of people pleasing. If you’re too much of a wuss to be vulnerable and express your feelings to the opposite sex, they will shut you down.

(for part 4, click here.)